WINNERS v/s LOSERS

Winners have dreams; Losers have schemes.
Winners see the gains; Losers see the pain.
Winners see the potential; Losers see the past.
Winners make it happen; Losers let it happen.
Winners see possibilities; Losers see problems.
Winners make commitments; Losers make promises.
Winners are a part of the team; Losers are apart from the team.
Winners always have a program; Losers always have an excuse.
Winners say, "Let me do it for you"; Losers say, "That is not my job".
Winners say, "I must do something"; Losers say, "Something must be done".
Winners are always a part of the answer; Losers are always a part of the problem.
Winners see an answer for every problem; Losers see a problem for every answer.
Winners believe in win/win; Losers believe for them to win, someone has to lose.
Winners say "It may be difficult but it is possible"; Losers say "It may be possible but it is too difficult".
Winners make a mistake. He says "I was wrong"; Losers make a mistake; he says "It wasn't my fault".

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON ??????????

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person ?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It Depends. Is that your husband?

In all seriousness, she answered " How do you know?"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,you fell in love with... Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted...their touch, and liked.... Their idiosyncrasies......Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. Infact, it was a Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening...TO YOU...

People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is notalways welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for theirUnhappiness and look outside their marriage forfulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is> The most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this)

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous> experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.There are specific Things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can " make" love.


Love in marriage is indeed a " decision"... Not just a feeling.

If You Love Someone . . .

If you love some one because you think that he or she is really gorgeous ...then it's not love..it's - Infatuation . . .

If you love some one because you think that you shouldn't leave him becauseothers think that you shouldn't ... then it's not love..it's - compromise . . .

If you love some one because you think that you cannot live with out his touch ....then it's not love .. it's - lust . . .

If you love some one because you have been kissed by him ...then it's not love.. it's - inferiority complex . . .

If you love some one because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings ..then it's not love .. it's - charity . . .

If you love some one because you share every thing with him ...then it's not love..it's - Friendship . . .

but if you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stableand you cry for him ..that's - LOVE . . .

If you get attracted to other people but stay with him without any regrets..that's - LOVE . . .

If you let him go knowing that he has to go but he doesn't want to..that's - LOVE . . .
'' Don't hold something in your arms that you could never hold in your heart''

I believe...

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.--- -- Robert Fulghum

The pain passes, but the beauty remains.-- Pierre Auguste Renoir

Joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.-- Kahlil Gibran

He who has not looked on Sorrow will never see Joy. -- Kahlil Gibran
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? ---- Kahlil Gibran

There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.-- Edith Wharton

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.-- Carl Jung

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.-- Anne Bradstreet

There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.

The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.-- William Somerset Maugham

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.-- Chinese Proverbs

Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.

Today......

Today before you think of saying an unkind word

Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food

Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain about your husband or wifeT

Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life

Think of someone who went too early to heaven

Before you complain about your children

Think of someone who desires children but they're barren

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep

Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive

Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feetAnd when you are tired and complain about your job

Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another

Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down

Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around Life is a gift

Live it.Enjoy it..Celebrate it..And fulfill it..HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY . . .

Trouble......

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AMand he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go andsee why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper bythe bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws


CREATION

A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!



THIS FOR SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT !

Thoughts to Ponder : Why ... why ... why ... Have you ever wondered?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

Why do people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older ... they were cramming for their finals!

Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?

Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?

Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

My life in Carolina......

It is almost one month since I have left New Jersey, finally got sorted an apartment to stay for next six months. At first it was a very isolated place to me, hardly see anyone walking on the road, all farm lands and wooden areas. Now I am kind of used to the area, started enjoying the scenic beauty, all that greenery and surrounded by unknown mysteriousness.

People are more relaxed and friendly compare to crowded New York life. Only thing I really missed from Jersey is the diversity and the quality of the food. I was sick of eating junk food everyday, now I have a nice flat mate and a place can start cooking spicy food. Work is very hectic as expected and had to work even weekend and I don’t get time to read the blogs I am addicted to read. Hoping every thing will be back to normal soon, then I can start blogging again……

Time to move again.....

I just wanted to let all of you know that posting may slow down here over the next week or so, as I’ll be moving to Charlotte, North Carolina for six months.This hit me kind of fast, and so I’ve been rapidly packing my things since last night. Moving is not my favorite thing, even though I have moved ample times in my life. Anyway this time is different, only thing I know is the company I am going to work and the hotel which I will be staying for up to a week. So far I’ve started packing half of suitcase, managed to keep my things down to the minimum. .. basic necessities, like clothes, hygiene products, etc. and my entire computer related items. I want to take all the books, then I realized...only going for six months. it may sound long. but it goes quicky..once I started getting used to Charlotte, it is time to move back again. Anyway I am looking forward to work in Charlotte, the queen city as I heard it has a nice and friendly southern charm. Anyway,i am going to miss, reading all the wonderful blogs for a while, but I will be back guys ..until then Keep Blogging....

Jealousy....

"Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment"

"Jealousy comes from self-love rather than from true love"

"Jealousy is a tiger that tears not only its prey but also its own raging heart"

"There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy"-- Lope de Vega

"Love may exist without jealousy, although this is rare; but jealousy may exist without love, and this is common"

"Jealousy is always born with love, but does not always die with it” -- François de Rochefoucauld

"Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands"--Oscar Wilde quotes

"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening" --Maya Angelou

"Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty.” François de la Rochefoucauld

"Like hatred, jealousy is forbidden by the laws of life because it is essentially destructive”-Alexis

"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was" --Rodney Dangerfield

“Cruelty has a human heart, And jealousy a human face Terror, the human form divine, And secrecy, the human dress” -- William Blake quote

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!” -- Bob Marley

Lessons of Life

The following pics are of the same place but taken under different seasons

Spring & Summer Season

Autumn & Winter Season

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfilment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right,because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfilment of your fall.

Moral:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don't judgethe life by one difficult season.

Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later

The Turkey and the Bull

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the Story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Bloom in a drought....

How do I explain

this bloom upon the rose,

that clings against all odds

this endless drought bestows?

Just holding on with hope

that rains will fall again,

before she hits the dust

where her tender life will end

But rain has left this bloom

to struggle on her own,

with only hopes and prayers

she clings to life alone.

She holds on with a dream

the day sweet drops will fall,

to ease her aching thirst

her petals cry out for.

So fragile with her pain

so lonely with her need,

that just one tender touch

would cause her heart to bleed.

The rains she knows so well

seem nowhere in her sight,

but still she finds the strength

to not give up the fight.

Alone she blooms her smile

to hide away her fears,

she'll flower while she can

no moisture left for tears . . .

Opportunity

A priest was driving along and saw nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg.

She immediately says, "Father, remember Psalm 129".

The priest says sorry and removes his hand but is unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on when he changes gear and has ogled at her leg for the zillionth time he lets the hand slide up the leg again.

The Nun once again says, "Father remember Psalm 129".

Arriving at the convent the nun gets out and the priest goes on his way. Once he arrives at his church he rushes to the bible and looks up Psalm 129 and it said, "GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND GLORY"


Moral of the Story: In your job should always be well informed or you may miss a great opportunity

How to Handle a Cheating Girlfriend

There is more to life than living out the lyrics of a country and western song. If her cheatin' heart is more than you can stand, it is time for you to change your tune or face the music.

Think about the source of your suspicion. If you "heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another she's been messin' around," look for more reliable information.

Make sure that jealousy and insecurity are not making you falsely accuse someone you care about.

Trust your instincts. If you think that your girlfriend is cheating on you, then ask her. If her answer is, "Oh, no honey. Of course not! How could you even ask such a thing? You know I love you and only you (kiss-kiss)," but you simply don't believe her, make sure your mistrust is based on something you witness or experience.

Noticing a change in your relationship or her behavior would make your suspicion reasonable. Seeing her with someone else, who looks clearly to be more than a friend, is pretty solid evidence.

Consider your physical health and emotional well-being. Could she be putting you at risk for sexually transmitted diseases? Can you deal with being one of many?

Think about what you would tell a sibling or a best friend to do in your situation. Is fear keeping you from following your own advice?

Discuss your feelings with your girlfriend. Tell her how her cheating is affecting you. Explain what you're looking for in this relationship.

Listen to what she has to say. Her response to your concerns should give you the information you need to do what is right for you.

Inform your girlfriend of your decision, whether it is to forgive her and start over, have a brief separation while you figure out what to do, or part ways.

Tips: This does not have to get ugly. Wait until you are able to address this issue as rationally as possible. Regardless of her cheating, remember that you cared about her once, and you still may. You don't need to console her, but you will feel better about yourself if you take the high road.

Warnings: If she cheats on you once, shame on her! If she cheats on you twice or more, well, you know the rest.

Comfort Zone

I use to have a Comfort Zone
Where I knew I couldn't fail
The same four walls of busy work
Were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things
I'd never done before,
But I stayed inside my Comfort Zone
And paced the same old floor

I said it didn't matter,
That I wasn't doing much
I said I didn't care for things
Like diamonds, furs and such

I claimed to be so busy
With the things inside my zone,
But deep inside I longed for
Something special of my own.

I couldn't let my life go by,
Just watching others win.
I held my breath and stepped outside
And let the change begin.

I took a step and with new strength
I'd never felt before,
I kissed my Comfort Zone "goodbye"
And closed and locked the door.

If you are in a Comfort Zone,
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt.

A step or two and words of praise,
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile,
Success is there for you!

Single and Sick of It?

"Why am I still single?" thousands of women ask DrPhil with looks of fear, desperation and hopelessness. Dr. Phil gets real about why they — and possibly you — are still flying solo.


Do an autopsy on your past relationships. Why didn't they work? Look at things honestly and learn from your mistakes.

Acknowledge what you own in a relationship. If you look at relationships that haven't worked, the common denominator is you! That means you own part of the problem. You create your own experience and control the choices you make. Your behavior and decisions have consequences. Take responsibility for them.

Be your authentic self. Your authentic self is who you are when you have no fear of judgment, or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you're supposed to be. Your fictional self is who you are when you have a social mask on to please everyone else — and it doesn't work if you're looking for a lasting relationship. Give yourself permission to be your authentic self.

Change your internal dialogue — what you're telling yourself in real time. You may be programming yourself for failure with negative thoughts. For example, if you call yourself a "freak magnet" while waiting for a blind date to show up, you're starting off with a negative internal message.

Take notice of your "tapes," which Dr. Phil compares to "elevator music," that constantly play in your head. Tapes can be even more insidious than your internal dialogue because they're so well rehearsed and ingrained. Evaluate a particular situation, rather than listening to your tapes and deciding ahead of time. For example, if you've told yourself that "all good men are taken," then you've labeled the man you're out with as "a leftover" before you've even gotten to know him! Your pre-determined beliefs, which you may not even be conscious of, can be destructive.

A common mistake of many single people is that they try to change themselves for the person they are dating. When you do that, you're not being true to who you are, and it will bite you in the rear.

If what you're doing isn't working, change it. Do something different. Don't be someone you're not, but have a broad range of who you are.

Decide what kind of person you're looking for and put yourself in a target-rich environment. If, for example, you're looking for a man who loves the outdoors, go there. And if you're not looking for a barfly, don't go to a bar to meet someone!

Only 7 percent of communication is verbal. For every thought you have, there's a physiological reaction. Become aware of the signals you are sending out. Desperation, for example, comes through in non-verbal communication.

Recognize that you don't have to be in a relationship to be whole. It is better to be happy alone than sick with someone else. The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself.

Don't put pressure on yourself. You don't have to be married. It's not required. Stop telling yourself you have to get a ring on your finger.

Are you available? Look at your life and ask yourself if you're leaving time to meet someone. Would someone have to throw himself on the hood of your car to cross paths with you and get your attention?

Don't act desperate. Send a message that you "want to" be in a relationship — not that you've "got to." Even if you hear your biological clock, it need not tick loudly enough for every eligible man to hear it!

Why women cry . . .

"Why are you crying?" he asked his mom.
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will.."

Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason" was all his dad could say...

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry...

Finally he put in a call to GOD; when GOD got on the phone the man said,"GOD, why do women cry so easily?"

GOD said..When I made women she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world; yet, gentle enough to give comfort..

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children..

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining..

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly..

This same sensitivity helps her to make a child's boo-boo feel better and shares in their teenagers anxieties and fears..

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart..

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly..

I gave her a tear to shed, It's hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed. It's her only weakness.. It's a tear for mankind . . .

What Makes Men and Women Happy

What a man should do to keep his wife happy:

1. Make her dinner.
2. Take her out.
3. Send her chocolate and roses for no reason.
4. Tell her how much he loves her.
5. Help around the house.
6. Spend money for no reason except that he loves her.

What a Woman should do to keep him happy:
1. Show up naked.
2. Bring food.