If you love...

The opposite to love is not hate, but judgement.

When we judge another as a threat to our needs and desires, we fear that person.
We see them not as they are, but through our interpretations.
We separate ourselves from them.
And when we judge another as the answer to our needs and desires, we think we 'love' them.
But we only love their behaviour and their form.
We see them not as they are, in their essence, but through our interpretations.
And again we separate ourselves from them.
We judge another to prove we are more worthy.
We judge because we are afraid to meet another as an equal.
We judge, lest in seeing others to be what they truly are, we feel we are not who we truly are.
Yet any judgement is but a judgement of oneself.
It is an admission that I am not what I truly may be knowing that what I see in the other is also in me.
When I know who I am, I know who other people are, and judgement is no longer necessary.
No judgement can be given of the being of another, and my being needs make no judgement.
When we see another as they are, without any judgement of how they are, then we see them through the eyes of compassion.

This is true love.

Don't let.....

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON ??????????

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person ?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It Depends. Is that your husband?

In all seriousness, she answered " How do you know?"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,you fell in love with... Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted...their touch, and liked.... Their idiosyncrasies......Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. Infact, it was a Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening...TO YOU...

People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is notalways welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for theirUnhappiness and look outside their marriage forfulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is> The most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this)

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous> experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.There are specific Things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can " make" love.


Love in marriage is indeed a " decision"... Not just a feeling.

I Wonder...

I sit here and wonder
Why our love died,
Through the days and months
God knows we tried.

I wonder why it is
After all this time,
You're the one thing
That won't leave my mind.

I wonder how you're doing
And do you think of me..?
Or are you glad it's over
And you're finally free.

I wonder why after few months
I still cry myself to sleep,
I wonder if the pain will go
Or if it I will always keep.

I wonder if you'd come back
If you thought you could,
I wonder if you were right
We only did what we should.

I wonder if you think of me
When you hear my name,
I wonder if you have forgiven
Or are you still laying blame..?

I wonder if you care at all
That we are apart,
I wonder if you know
I love you with all my heart.

I wonder why I wonder about
The things that I do,
Maybe it's because after few months
I'm still in love with you . . .

You have no right............

You have no right...
To ask me how I feel
You have no right …
To take me in your arms
And say you want me back
I have moved on with life
Living by my rules
You have no right……
To judge my conscious
Still hurts to look back
The way I loved you
Cared and wait for you
I left you with dignity
All for the right reasons..
Lies, deception and betrayals
Still haunts me every night
My love is too precious
To be wasted on you
There is no second chance..
You have no right….
To make me love you again

Eternal love

I wanted to shout

I wanted to cry

But I buried my sorrows

In the depths of my soul

Couldn’t stop - a tear or two

Didn’t let - the sighs to flow

I bear the pains - in my heart

Hiding the wound - that still bled

No one to heal - no one to care

Wanted to talk-But no one  to listen

Loneliness did griped - my mind

Confusion was – hard to define

I still do - remember that time

I used to believe – in eternal love . . .

12 Sign's Of Falling In Love

The 12 Signs Of Falling In Love

Message:
12. You'll read his/her IMS over and over again...

11. You'll walk really really slow while you're with him/her...

10. You'll feel shy whenever you're withhim/her...

9. While thinking bout him/her...your heart will beat faster and faster...

8. By listening to his/her voice...you'll smilefor no reason.

7. While looking at him/her..you cant see the other people around you...you can only see
that person

6. You'll start listening to SLOW songs.

5. He/She becomes all you think about.

4. You'll get high just by their smell...

3. You'll realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about them..

2. You'll do anything for him/her...

1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time.


For all of you out there.....Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is Madness....

To hate all roses
Because you got scrached with one thorn......

To give up on your dreams
Because one did not come true......

To loose faith in prayers
Because one was not answered......

To give up on your efforts
Because one of them failed......

To condemn all your friends
Beacuse one betrayed you......

Not to believe in love
Because someone was unfaithful or didn't love you back.....

To throw away all your chances to be happy
Because you did not succeed on first attempt.......

I hope as you go on your way
You do not give in to madness...........

Remembering Always......
Another chance may come up.....
Another friend...
A new love........
A renewed strength....

Be persistent.....Look for happiness in every day......


The sure path to failure is to give up! It is often through failure that future success comes...Keep trying..........

Nothing's Wasted....

Nothing’s wasted but nothing’s gained

Memories still fill up my mind

Regardless of the deleted files

All that I had are still deep inside

But you I never had, would never be mine

If it was a curse that bound me

I wish I would always be cursed

For I don’t want to loose

The warmth I felt for the first time

Nothing has changed but the air I breathe

And the memories lightening through my heart . . .

Seven Steps to Rescuing Romance

hmm....This year is full of weddings from begining to end..all my cousins,freinds are getting married.Funny thing is that they all wanted get marry before me and have a family early....bla bla stuff and end up being last. I am the one who is laughing at them now,coz my so called family advisers seeking tips from me. Suddenly i bacame their expert,wedding planner and relationship guru.They wanted to know from designing wedding cards to how to cope with married life . So i decided to publish a book......just kidding ...as you all know i am also a newbie and still learning bitz and pieces in marriage universe.But i can't let you guys down since this is the first time you decided to ask my advice...did a little research and find this article interesting from Oprah.com

Seven Steps to Rescuing Romance

Try one every day of the week, focus on one at a time, do whatever you like with them—but do take them all to heart.

1. Find Out What You Want Are you meeting your partner's needs? Are your needs being met? What are they? After you know partner's needs, if you find yourselves still frustrated, realize that it's not that you can't meet your partner's needs, it's that you won't. Think about why you haven't yet.

2. Respect Your Partner It shouldn't matter why your partner needs what he or she needs. Consider Dr. Phil's example: If one of your kids got up in the middle of the night and said, "I'm thirsty," would you just turn around and say, "Well, I'm not, so go back to bed"? The key is to appreciate your partner's individuality. Don't expect your partner to react exactly as you would; your partner isn't you! 3. What Message Do You Send? Think about the message you are sending your partner when you don't acknowledge his or her wants. How does this make your partner feel? How would it make you feel?

4. Compromise. Know that you can fulfill your partner's wants. But by prioritizing your needs alone, you're making the conscious decision to not to fulfil his or her wants. Try talking about both of your needs and wants. Find the middle ground.

5. Don't Forget Romance Keep in mind that romance is an important element of marriage. Your partner might consider romance as the true measure of his or her value to your relationship. Be thoughtful and try doing something sweet for no apparent reason.

6. Remember the 4-minute rule You can predict the rest of the night based on the first 4 minutes, so make those minutes count! Bring flowers. Greet each other with a compliment. Ask questions about your partner's day. Smile; it'll make a difference.

7. Open Up Be communicative and expressive with your partner. Remember, sharing emotions is not weakness; it makes you whole.

Rules for Dating...

This is for all my single freinds out there who is looking for a good relationship..............little advice from Dr Phil
Dr. Phil's Rules For Dating

1. Be awareAre you aware of the first impression you make? People react to how you present yourself — so pay attention to the statement you make. If you're not sure how you might be perceived, ask someone who will tell you the truth. Remember that men are visually stimulated.

2.Check your baggage
Seven percent of communication is what you say, and the other 93 percent is non-verbal. That 93 percent screams your "personal truth," what you really believe about yourself when nobody is looking. If you're carrying baggage — insecurities, fear, desperation — people can tell.

3. Know your deal brakers
While Dr. Phil cautions about expecting someone to meet a checklist, he does think it's OK to have deal breakers. But you need to know what they are and get rid of the ones that are frivolous. Be open to someone who may not meet all your requirements, while recognizing what you're not willing to compromise on.

4. Move SlowlyWhen you feel the pressure of time, you can make mistakes, overlook important details, or misjudge someone. Don't base everything on chemistry, because marriage is not one long date. Let the natural rhythm of a relationship run its course without getting too impatient or forcing things.

Keep in mind: The number one fear that men have is rejection. They need to see a vulnerability, an approachability, so they feel like they have something to offer you. Are you so into your comfort zone of being single that you're putting out a vibe that says "I don't need you"?

now..now ....stop complaining being single and lonely......start dating...tell me how the rules are working with you......(As for me it all worked fine except the fourth one......i did rush to decisions, but it all turned out fine for now,sometimes you have to make decesions based on the facts available to you in a short period of time.If you leave it for so long either you may end up jumping from one relationship to another or get fed up with the whole process.I know some of my close freinds passed good oppourtunities thinking they might meet their perfect soul mates.I think it is all about compromise....there is no such thing as hundred percent match unless it is your clone....it is give and take from both side which will lead to a solid relationship....

Love

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
Madonna, O Magazine, January 2004

Midsummer

You loved me for a little,
who could not love me long.
You gave me wings of gladness
and lent my spirit song.

You loved me for an hour
but only with your eyes;
Your lips I could not capture
by storm or by surprise.

Your mouth that I remember
with rush of sudden pain
As one remembers starlight
or roses after rain...


Out of a world of laughter
suddenly I am sad...
Day and night it haunts me.
the kiss I never had.


by Sydney King Russel