Seven Steps to Rescuing Romance

hmm....This year is full of weddings from begining to end..all my cousins,freinds are getting married.Funny thing is that they all wanted get marry before me and have a family early....bla bla stuff and end up being last. I am the one who is laughing at them now,coz my so called family advisers seeking tips from me. Suddenly i bacame their expert,wedding planner and relationship guru.They wanted to know from designing wedding cards to how to cope with married life . So i decided to publish a book......just kidding ...as you all know i am also a newbie and still learning bitz and pieces in marriage universe.But i can't let you guys down since this is the first time you decided to ask my advice...did a little research and find this article interesting from Oprah.com

Seven Steps to Rescuing Romance

Try one every day of the week, focus on one at a time, do whatever you like with them—but do take them all to heart.

1. Find Out What You Want Are you meeting your partner's needs? Are your needs being met? What are they? After you know partner's needs, if you find yourselves still frustrated, realize that it's not that you can't meet your partner's needs, it's that you won't. Think about why you haven't yet.

2. Respect Your Partner It shouldn't matter why your partner needs what he or she needs. Consider Dr. Phil's example: If one of your kids got up in the middle of the night and said, "I'm thirsty," would you just turn around and say, "Well, I'm not, so go back to bed"? The key is to appreciate your partner's individuality. Don't expect your partner to react exactly as you would; your partner isn't you! 3. What Message Do You Send? Think about the message you are sending your partner when you don't acknowledge his or her wants. How does this make your partner feel? How would it make you feel?

4. Compromise. Know that you can fulfill your partner's wants. But by prioritizing your needs alone, you're making the conscious decision to not to fulfil his or her wants. Try talking about both of your needs and wants. Find the middle ground.

5. Don't Forget Romance Keep in mind that romance is an important element of marriage. Your partner might consider romance as the true measure of his or her value to your relationship. Be thoughtful and try doing something sweet for no apparent reason.

6. Remember the 4-minute rule You can predict the rest of the night based on the first 4 minutes, so make those minutes count! Bring flowers. Greet each other with a compliment. Ask questions about your partner's day. Smile; it'll make a difference.

7. Open Up Be communicative and expressive with your partner. Remember, sharing emotions is not weakness; it makes you whole.

Rules for Dating...

This is for all my single freinds out there who is looking for a good relationship..............little advice from Dr Phil
Dr. Phil's Rules For Dating

1. Be awareAre you aware of the first impression you make? People react to how you present yourself — so pay attention to the statement you make. If you're not sure how you might be perceived, ask someone who will tell you the truth. Remember that men are visually stimulated.

2.Check your baggage
Seven percent of communication is what you say, and the other 93 percent is non-verbal. That 93 percent screams your "personal truth," what you really believe about yourself when nobody is looking. If you're carrying baggage — insecurities, fear, desperation — people can tell.

3. Know your deal brakers
While Dr. Phil cautions about expecting someone to meet a checklist, he does think it's OK to have deal breakers. But you need to know what they are and get rid of the ones that are frivolous. Be open to someone who may not meet all your requirements, while recognizing what you're not willing to compromise on.

4. Move SlowlyWhen you feel the pressure of time, you can make mistakes, overlook important details, or misjudge someone. Don't base everything on chemistry, because marriage is not one long date. Let the natural rhythm of a relationship run its course without getting too impatient or forcing things.

Keep in mind: The number one fear that men have is rejection. They need to see a vulnerability, an approachability, so they feel like they have something to offer you. Are you so into your comfort zone of being single that you're putting out a vibe that says "I don't need you"?

now..now ....stop complaining being single and lonely......start dating...tell me how the rules are working with you......(As for me it all worked fine except the fourth one......i did rush to decisions, but it all turned out fine for now,sometimes you have to make decesions based on the facts available to you in a short period of time.If you leave it for so long either you may end up jumping from one relationship to another or get fed up with the whole process.I know some of my close freinds passed good oppourtunities thinking they might meet their perfect soul mates.I think it is all about compromise....there is no such thing as hundred percent match unless it is your clone....it is give and take from both side which will lead to a solid relationship....

Love

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
Madonna, O Magazine, January 2004