The opposite to love is not hate, but judgement.

When we judge another as a threat to our needs and desires, we fear that person.
We see them not as they are, but through our interpretations.
We separate ourselves from them.
And when we judge another as the answer to our needs and desires, we think we 'love' them.
But we only love their behaviour and their form.
We see them not as they are, in their essence, but through our interpretations.
And again we separate ourselves from them.
We judge another to prove we are more worthy.
We judge because we are afraid to meet another as an equal.
We judge, lest in seeing others to be what they truly are, we feel we are not who we truly are.
Yet any judgement is but a judgement of oneself.
It is an admission that I am not what I truly may be knowing that what I see in the other is also in me.
When I know who I am, I know who other people are, and judgement is no longer necessary.
No judgement can be given of the being of another, and my being needs make no judgement.
When we see another as they are, without any judgement of how they are, then we see them through the eyes of compassion.

This is true love.

A wise physician...

I need to know If you're my true friend...

Being happy ....

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

“When life knocks you down you have two choices- stay down or get up.” - Tom Krause


“What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson


“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”
 “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” -Lord Budda


“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson


“The diamond cannot be polished without friction, nor the man perfected without trials.”

What Really Matters in Life?

A vacationing American businessman was standing on the pier of a quaint coastal fishing village in southern Mexico when a small boat with just one young fisherman pulled into the dock. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.
"How long did it take you to catch them?" the American casually asked.
"Oh, a few hours," the Mexican replied.
"Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" the American businessman then asked.
The Mexican warmly replied, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."
The businessman then became serious, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
Responding with a smile, the Mexican fisherman answered, "I sleep late, play with my children, watch ballgames, and take siesta with my wife. Sometimes in the evenings I take a stroll into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, sing a few songs..."
The American businessman impatiently interrupted, "Look, I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you to be more profitable. You can start by fishing several hours longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra money, you can buy a bigger boat. With the additional income that larger boat will bring, you can then buy a second boat, a third one, and so on, until you have an entire fleet of fishing boats.
"Then, instead of selling your catch to a middleman you'll be able to sell your fish directly to the processor, or even open your own cannery. Eventually, you could control the product, processing and distribution. You could leave this tiny coastal village and move to Mexico City, or possibly even LA or New York City, where you could even further expand your enterprise."
Having never thought of such things, the Mexican fisherman asked, "But how long will all this take?"
After a rapid mental calculation, the businessman pronounced, "Probably about 15-20 years, maybe less if you work really hard."
"And then what, senor?" asked the fisherman.
"Why, that's the best part!" answered the businessman with a laugh. "When the time is right, you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."
"Millions? Really? What could I do with it all?" asked the young fisherman in disbelief.
The businessman boasted, "Then you could happily retire with all the money you've made. You could move to a quaint coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, play with your grandchildren, watch ballgames, take siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could play the guitar and sing with your friends all you want."


The moral of the story is: Know what really matters in life, and you may find that it is already much closer than you think।

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There is no fun now, you're Just a sour dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 andMAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtimeAnd it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become alittle kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1.. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctorsworry about them. That is why you pay"them"

2. Keep only cheerful friends.. The grouches pull you down

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud.. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it'sfamily, pets, keepsakes, music,plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8.Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improveit. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips .. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you lovethat you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breathswe take, but by the momentsthat take our breath away.

Too often we don't realise..

Something's in life....

No one....

Taking a Risk . . .

There are no guarantees
Life throws things at you
You can catch or miss them
But they will come, ready or not

I always looked for the real thing
Never trusting in the possibility
Risk-taking not my forte
Staying safe at all costs

Even playing it safe is not certain
Safe has hurt me
Zero risk gets zero gain
Sometimes playing it safe costs you more

It has me,
In not fighting the battle
you may lose the war
In not believing in a dream
You may never sleep peacefully again

So let go of the fear
Reach out for the flame
So what if you get burned
Better that then numb for life

Better to remember passion and joy
Along with the pain and tears
Then to have no memories worth
Remembering

So to hell with safe
I am going to gamble and bet
Until I win back everything I lost
And my life is what it was meant to be . . .

I can't hear you

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get aresponse.

"That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from hiswife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

;

;

;

;

;

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

*

Moral of the story:

The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be very much within us..................

Time is Like.............

Don't let.....

ANALYSE PROBLEMS TACTFULLY

Case 1

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface). To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.

And what did the Russians do...??

They used a pencil.....!!!!!!

Case 2

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the Case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan's biggest Cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a whopping amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc., but instead came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Moral: Always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problems

Case 3

OTIS ....... A Lift manufacturing Giant ...... had a complaint from the customer that their lifts were very slow, and that it took a long time to go up 60 stories........ Otis Engineers were fired and asked to solve the problem at the earliest and replace all the lifts accordingly. Engineers started working on the chain mechanism, the pulley systems, the power drives, the weight to speed ratio, and other such hi tech parts...... The problem had no solution, as in increasing speed, weight had to be reduced, or the safety was an issue, or other such thing.

Moral: Always analyze the Problems from all view points.......

But, one newly appointed engineer solved the problem in 2 days. He fitted the mirror in the lifts. Suddenly the Complaints reduced drastically to 10%. The director asked for he young engineer, and asked him about this solution. The young man said, The problem is not that the lifts are slow, but that People feel that our Lifts are slow.

HOW MEN AND WOMEN DIFFER

NICKNAMES* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes

EATING OUT* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $50, even though it's only for $115.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale

BATHROOMS* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Dischem.* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS* A woman has the last word in any argument.* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

CATS* Women love cats.* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret-fears and hopes and dreams.* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Wanna be a Rich man..?

Second Richest Man in the world

There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the secondrichest man who has donated $31 billion (85% of his fortune) to charity.

Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:

1) He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that hestarted too late!

2) He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from deliveringnewspapers.

3) He still lives in the same small 3 bedroom house in mid-town Omaha,that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he haseverything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or afence.

4) He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver orsecurity people around him.

5) He never travels by private jet, although he ownsthe world's largestprivate jet company.

6) His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes onlyone letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goalsfor the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.

7) He has given his CEO's only two rules.

Rule number 1: Do not lose any of your share holder's money.

Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number

8) He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past timeafter he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watchtelevision.

9) Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common withWarren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. Butwhen Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gatesbecame a devotee of Warren Buffet.

10) Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on hisdesk.

11) His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and investin yourself.

BE A MODEST PERSON !!!

Gloomy Winter

Gloomy winter, wrapped up in the cold
Chilling winds ..run through my ears
God… When is this winter getting over?
I am tired of seeing same snowy roads

Need the summer to be here soon...
Spring, autumn have come and gone away
I am still here… far away from home....
I wondered what it would have been....
If I have never made it to this country
Never had to leave my childhood home...
Good old days… tucked in my cozy bed..
Always dreamed.. what would be like..
to grown up to a whole new world.....
Freedom to be who ever I want to be...
Meet new people, make friends and have a life
To be claimed my own, envy of my friends..
Having all my dreams come true..
I still wondered the life.. I left behind....
I have forgotten the taste of mother's cooking..
All the great conversations we had.....
And what was it like to be waken up to the birds
I was in the swing.. with my eyes closed tight,
Smell of the ripped mangoes eaten by squirrels....
Reaching for the blue sky in my little kingdom
Oh God.. I wish I can turn the clock back....
All I have now is the memories of little pieces
Haunting me to dig in more... to bring the past...
I wanted to have it all... Captured in my heart
What if I run out of space? Then I smiled...
Realizing we only get to live young once.....
It became part of my life ...that I am today....
If you don't move on..............
You’ll have nothing to look back on...

Power of Dreams

All men and women are born, live suffer and die; what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams, whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things, and what we do to make them come about... We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death. But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.

--Joseph Epstein

A dream that is not interpreted is like a letter that has not been opened. --The Talmud

Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. --Unknown

We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.

--Woodrow Wilson

Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living. --Anonymous

People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.

--Ramona L. Anderson

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. --Erma Bombeck

You'll never achieve your dreams if they don't become goals.--Anonymous

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.

--T.E. Lawrence

WINNERS v/s LOSERS

Winners have dreams; Losers have schemes.
Winners see the gains; Losers see the pain.
Winners see the potential; Losers see the past.
Winners make it happen; Losers let it happen.
Winners see possibilities; Losers see problems.
Winners make commitments; Losers make promises.
Winners are a part of the team; Losers are apart from the team.
Winners always have a program; Losers always have an excuse.
Winners say, "Let me do it for you"; Losers say, "That is not my job".
Winners say, "I must do something"; Losers say, "Something must be done".
Winners are always a part of the answer; Losers are always a part of the problem.
Winners see an answer for every problem; Losers see a problem for every answer.
Winners believe in win/win; Losers believe for them to win, someone has to lose.
Winners say "It may be difficult but it is possible"; Losers say "It may be possible but it is too difficult".
Winners make a mistake. He says "I was wrong"; Losers make a mistake; he says "It wasn't my fault".

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON ??????????

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person ?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It Depends. Is that your husband?

In all seriousness, she answered " How do you know?"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,you fell in love with... Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted...their touch, and liked.... Their idiosyncrasies......Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. Infact, it was a Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening...TO YOU...

People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is notalways welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for theirUnhappiness and look outside their marriage forfulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is> The most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this)

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous> experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.There are specific Things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can " make" love.


Love in marriage is indeed a " decision"... Not just a feeling.